First of all I want to thank God for this day. It good to know life is good when you do the right thing. I want to thank IK Brage, my Family, Friends, Conny Cedermark, Tommy Andersson, Kjell Petersson but most of all my girl Amanda. I am really enjoying my time in Romania. What a great start, my first game we won and I made a assist to the goal. people should not judge from my past, the past is the past, what people should judge is what I am doing now.
Brage really believed in me, thats why they took this big risk. As you all know football is a teamsport not a induvidual sport. That means that there is so many things that have to work out for a team to succeed and im sorry to say that it didn't work out as good as they hoped so big risk taken and we didn't have the luck on our side this seson. We lost game after game and me and my team-mates lost hope and selfconfidence and when you do your screwed. Ik Brage have put big money on good players which have put them in big economic situation with a big loss so its been a hard painful season with alot of stress and frusturation so it havn't been easy for any of us and it was easy to put the blame on me in the beginning but people soon realized that it's a really tupid thing to do. There has been blood, sweat and tears. But I worked my self through this, we all did and it soon over. Bad news though is that we're no longer playing in superettan. Next season we're in devision 1 and with that comes alot of changing in the team.
Only God knows what happens next for each players.
I am home this friday evening sitting and thinking about life, and I just want to share my feelings. Everybody in life needs a second chance, no matter how hard life is you should always stay positive.
Like I always say after darkness there is a day light.
I am very happy to see that I, Dulee Johnson, have been out of problem both on and off the field in soon one year. I feel that I have achieve something bigger in my life. I am very happy that I made it thanks to all the people that have help me through this: Kjell Pettersson, Conny Cedermark, my Team mates, Nudax but most important the organisation Ik Brage.
Without them I could not see me getting a second chance but now I know there is still hope for me to get a second chance.
There is nothing that is going to make me loose my focus, I might be going through alot in my life at this moment but all I see in this make me learn and get stronger.
I am taken this time to find myself, and asking myself alot of question, who I really am. But I have find out and do understand that the person I was, so people had all right to say all bad things about me because the way I lived my life before. I want to make things right in my life now and I am going to do anything it takes to show the real person I am not what people think of me. I am not going to give any reason for people to think about me the way it was in the past. ALL is done.
Now when I look back I am asking myself alot of question. How was my life in the past...? cue I must say that life is all about how you take it. I had a very hard past but everything that has happen it was for a reason. If these things had not happen I really dont know how life was going to end up with me. Some way I am not happen for all the things that I went through I must say. It is going to take some time for me to get over them, but every day that goes on, I feel stronger. Its was very hard all I have been through and I am stay paying the price, but all put a big smile on my face because I know my problem and will never experience them again. There is a saying, WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER. I can tell that it's true. All have made me see life in a different way. For example; what kind of friends to have around, who to trust and so on.But it's good to know these things now that my eyes is open to get away for all...
Life is easy the way I see it now when I'm doing things that are right. I remember things that I used to do in my past and today when I look back on these days I will never want to to go back. Because I must say I was playing in the top teams and top leauges but I was not happy with my life some way. It such a big different to live this way now. I must say if I could turn the clock around to be happy as I am now I would, but the past is the past and the present is what matters. The old Dulee Johnson that people knows that had problems is all over. I am now happy with everything around me and I feel in some way that this is two games I have to win; 1st outside the field and 2nd one the field. I HAVE ALREADY WON THE FIRST OUTSIDE THE FIELD AND THE SECOND IS NOW FOR ME TO WIN ON THE FIELD.
It was seven month ago since I drunk my last glas of alcohol, and it feels great. I really feel the difference from now and befor when I drank. I'm more fit then ever and I feel like I have three times more energy. It's a great feeling that I can see myself at training working harder and it feel great to know and feel that I can work much more when im not drinking anymore. I am so happy to feel this way and that the future looks great. I hope and pray to carry on and live day by day like this. I know and belive that I am going to fight to get back to the top by the Help of God and me.
It's nice to be back at training after the short break. It's always a great feeling to be on the field again because football is my passion. The first day of our break we had two training, 9am and 2pm where we had alot to do. There is always good to meet your team mates again especially when you see that everybody still have good thoughts and hope to make the second round of the season better than it started because as you maybe know we had a rough start but everybody keeps on fighting, I mean the race is not to there soul but who enduring to the end.
The thinking that I got today is thanks to the rehab (Nudax) that I went through. Without this rehab I shouldn't see life the way I see it now. I remember my first day on Nudax; I was a bit afraid because I didn't know how difficult it was going to be for me to leave the old party life that I was living before. It was a bit difficult for me to understand and accept it, Especially the first week. Doing my second week I got a new fresh though which was that I did understand that i had a problem like a physical allergy with alcohol. After the third week I did really understand and accept my problem. I am very thankful today that I admitted my problem and got help. Thanks to that I'm getting back on track step by step and life is much better now.
It's always good to know that misstakes are not allowed to be made, but when it's made, it is made. It's good sometimes to find yourself in situations that you had made misstakes and try not to make this kind of misstakes again.
People judge you because you are maybe a famous football player that have done misstakes that you have to live the rest of your life with but that doesn't mean you cant have a second chance. Life is not about how many times you fall, it's about how to get up again and make things right. It's important to know that all the misstakes I've done in my life over years have alot to do with my surrounders. People and the socity togehter with your properties are the result of who you are and how you behave but that is not a excuse because it's you and nobody else that have the responsibility of your actions.
What matters now is not how many times I have fall, but that I stand and want to do the right things.
These two days here in Gothenburg with my lovely kids have been just wonderful. So much love and happiness and we all had alot of fun together. Yesterday we went out eating after we went to a playground were we spend alot of hours together.
Today we had the same fun. We went out to play minigolf and it was really great to see how good and smart my kids are. They all did really well today and it's great to see what a big talent they have.
It's really great to see alot of changes; now when im not drinking I can see and enjoy life in a different way.
I love the feeling to wake up in the morning having days of from football not thinking of drinking alcohol or to take drugs for the first time in a long time. Today is my first day of my vacation and im going to Gothenburg, not to party but to see my lovely kids, Siah, Melly and Romeo. We are planing to have a good time at Liseberg and some other Playgrounds.
It feel so good to have such ideá and control over my life by doing the right things. Life is so much better when you choose to focus on things that make you achive your goal in life by focus on your health, family and your career.
How life is so better now, I am very happy for the help from Ik Brage.I realy did not think that I was going to make it but with all the surport from family, friends, am feeling so good now and so thankful.I am taken it day by day because it not easy I must say, from the life that I used to live before to the life I live now and it is a big change, but I am so happy now to see that life is so much better when you do the right thing.
All of this took time because I was not telling myself the truth, I was always in my own world drunk and could not see the reality of life, but i am greatful now to know and see the reality. I can make my children, family
friends, fans, proud again; that life of Dulee Johnson is much better not just as a good football player but also as a person because there is life after football.
As I said in my interview with expressen I am happy for the chance I got from Ik Brage. Without the chance I really don't not know how life was going to end out with me after all problems I've been through but I am happy and very thankful.
You can check out the interview I had with expressen yesterday here.
Dulee Johnson 28, professional footballer that currently plays for IK Brage.
Team I had play for: Milan Youth Team, Floda Bolf, BK Häcken, AIK, Maccabi Tel Aviv, Panatolikos, De Graaschap, Amazulu.
Contact: [email protected]
